


Life before death

by ayilram77



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Political Jon Snow, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 11:15:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29152617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayilram77/pseuds/ayilram77
Summary: Jon snow sent back in time, and given a second chance in his life, he knows not why or by whom.
Comments: 17
Kudos: 41





	1. A lost soul

**Author's Note:**

> All these characters belong to G.R.R.M and HBO. i own nothing.
> 
> Hello everyone, i found jon snow time travel fics are either rare or not well written, hence i decided to write one my self. This is my first work ever. i have no experience in writing before ,so if i make any mistakes, please let me know in the comments and help me out basically. hopefully this will be a long journey of total goodness :) enjoy

1\. JON- A lost soul

"GHOST !" he said weakly, almost a whisper,then his eyes shot open, he was in a room which was extremely familiar to him,yet for him it felt like it was so soo long ago, ' _another life time_ ' he thought. It was still dark although he somehow knew sun will be up in an hour or two. But, there was someone else in this room as well, "Gods, jon go back to sleep will you?" a boyish voice said from other side of the room. Jon froze in his bed, for jon,he knew that voice, he had not heard that voice for years, he yearned and hoped he would hear that voice again for years..., it was his brother's voice, it was.. "Robb?" jon croaked, his throat was dry and his voice was different too. he was breathing heavily and trying to understand what is happening. 

" _ **FOR THE WATCH**_ !! " . 

Then everything came back to him, memories flooded his mind. Castle black,craster's keep,fist of the first men, Lord commander Jeor mormont,sam,pyp,edd tollett,yigritte,stannis,ramsay bolton,arya.. "the others" he thought out loud. "yes, the others take you,snow," robb said from other side of the room,again in that queer boyish,sleepy voice yet it was so familiar. Now jon knew where he was, He is back in winterfell, Back in the room where him and robb shared when they were boys,before Lady Stark... "i am dead" he whispered slightly louder, 'I tried to help..no save them, and they killed me for it' he thought, " no, GHOST ?!" jon said in a panicked and slightly raised voice, eyes searching for his wolf.

Suddenly there was movement at the other side of the room where, a boyish figure sat up on his cot and rubbing his eyes, " urggg, aye, you will be dead and soon a ghost, if you do not go back to sleep now" said robb in his sleepy voice. Jon looked at this.. ' _boy? brother_?' Robb looked nothing like he last saw him, before going to castle black. Now his auburn wavy hair was dishelved from sleeping and he looked young a boy of two and ten not a man grown of sixteen. Jon didn't answer back, because this is too much for him everything felt so real, but robb was dead, his father was dead,bran,rickon, _'Arya.._ ' his heart felt heavy and tears welled up behind his eyes ' _i failed her, and now i lay dead at castle black_ ' he said to himself with a sense of dread,helplessness and grief.

But what am i doing here ? how am i here? he absent mindedly flexed his burned right han.. he lifted his right hand to his eye level "how?" he asked himself, his right hand and arm was not well toned and muscled as it should be, no it was skinny and pale and clean and _'no burned scars'_ with that he threw the bed covers and got himself to his feet. He was wearing his night shift, "Jon?" robb asked with a questioning look. jon didn't bother to reply to his imaginary brother, ' _why am i dreaming of winterfell? why the past?_ ' decended on the stairs two at a time, he turned another corner and threw open another door with a loud boom with wooden door hitting against the stone wall, and with that he was outside of the great keep and now in courtyard. He just stood there, the sun wasn't yet out but grey light of the morning was spillng out, it was just as he remembered just with a few changes, but mostly the same and it was eerily real.

From behind, he felt a hand on his shoulder, by practice and instinct he immediately swirled around taking the stranger's wrist and twisting it to a point where another twitch by jon would snap the wrist, his other other hand grabbing the stranger by his neck .. " AHHH!" robb cried out in pain, jon immediately let go of his hand, _'i felt robb's touch,'_ Jon stared at his hand and back at robb "by the gods snow, have you taken leave of your wits? you almost broke my sword hand and almost choked me to death !" robb flashed him with a pained and angry frown on his face. " i .. " jon could not get words out his mouth _'i should be dead! i saw them stab me, the coldness i felt, was it all a dream? NO!'_ Jon looked at his brother, "you are here robb. " was all he could say , "of course i am here," robb snapped at him "you truly have lost your wits snow, saying queer things and running of into the cold morning with not even putting on a cloak" Jon looked down at his boyish body and suddenly realized he was indeed cold and shaking--out of fear or cold he couldn't say-- seeing robb unharmed and healthy again brought different types of emotions to him.

He felt a single tear roll down on his cheek, felt a chill against the cold winds, without saying another word jon pulled his brother into a tight crushing embrace "ugfff," robb grunted in surprise and then his voice softened "Brother? is anything amiss?" robb asked in a worried tone. "Is everyone here in winterfell father,arya,sansa,bran,rickon?" jon asked his face half buried in his brother's shoulders. "Rickon?" robb pulled himself out of jon's grip and looked confused at jon. He suddenly remembered, 'Given how boyish we both look...' "Robb, what year is it?" robb gave him a genuinely worried look " I think we should wake maester luwin, you are worrying me jon" jon gripped robb's shoulder with his right hand and was surprised to feel no numbness " Robb, please what is the year?" jon asked "294 ac," robb said and freed himself from jon's grip. _'Rickon hasn't even born yet, that means we haven't found direwolves..no Ghost '_ the realisation made him feel empty, a part of himself missing, gaping hole in his heart and mind, that meant robb must be twelve and jon almost twelve. ' _Mere greenboys_ '. "Robb, is arya safe? sansa?" jon couldn't keep his voice from shaking, Robb suddenly looked panicked and confused "Jon, Why are you asking all of this? of course the girls are safe and must be sleeping. Did you see someone? or is there some threat outside ?" Jon Felt relieved and scared at the same time. _'Everyone is safe but how did i come here? i died in castle black. How is this all happening'?'_ "jon who is Rickon?" robb asked still waiting for an answer. "i had a dream,a bad dream, that is all" jon said. 

"Jon.." Robb began but stopped and looked past over jon's shoulder, Jon heard footsteps behind him and turned around to see more ghosts from the past approaching them, jory cassel followed by two other gaurds-Hallis mollen and Tomard- flanking him approach them, hands at the pommel of their swords "what is this robb? jon? we heard loud noises,? " jory asked them in a stern voice. Robb looked at jon for a moment, before saying "nothing, we were just running around jory" robb said , Jory clearly not convinced and considered them with a look and with a raised eyebrow "At this hour?" he asked looking at jon , "Jory?" jon asked with wide eyes. Jory looked at him confused and said "Aye, Stop looking at me like i am back from the dead itself lad," jon looked at him and waited for few heartbeats to see if he was japing and suddenly he could not help but throw his head back laugh out loud like a madman, ' _no a mad-boy_ ' he corrected himself. how long has it been since he laughed like this, he did not know. clearly this got all of them worried and Robb even more so, robb pulled on his elbow " Its nothing jory, we apologise for the noises" 

Jory threw a suspicious look at them and said " Get inside lads,NOW ! or i will have to wake lord and lady stark" Robb paled at this and said "Aye, come Jon," when jon didn't move and still staring jory and the guards, robb leaned in and whispered in his ears "If this reaches father's.. No mother's ears, she will have us flogged" again tugged at this elbow with little more force this time jon allowed robb to pull him back indoors and doors were closed behind them. "I shouldn't be here robb" jon said to robb who was still dragging him along as they turned the corner and started to climb the stairs. "Aye, that goes for us both, Its truly a relief and wonder brother, for a moment i thought you have gone simple" 

When they returned to their rooms robb went back to bed and jon to his, but jon couldn't sleep, too many questions and he had no answers for any of them, jon again got up from his bed, took his cloak from the hanger near the door and sneaked out of the room without waking robb this time, and he was back in courtyard again, this time he could see one or two figures moving about 'servants, sun should be up soon' he thought to himself, and started walking through the castle 'my home' so many memories came back to him he went past guest house, the armoury and finally he found himself at the gates of the godswood,he walked through the gates and trees , finally,he stood there facing the great weirwood tree,slight cool morning breeze was blowing through the godswood, sounds of leaves rustling in the wind and the sun was well and truly out, rays of light illuminating the blood leaves and pale white bark with a face carved on it, it was just like how it was before,blood red eyes and mouth turned downwards, like someone is crying yet furious about something.

He took a knee before the heart tree "why am i here?" he asked the old gods, no one answered him, except the sounds of his breathing and rustling of leaves, he sighed and sat, head resting on the wierwood tree, legs stretched out , he felt peaceful, ' _am i truly back?'_ after a long time, he closed his eyes and thought ' _No castle black, no nights watch , no lord commander duties, no bowen marsh...'_ "Traitors, the whole lot of them" he whispered as his mind slipped into a sleep filled with rage,grief and sadness with the old gods watching over him.


	2. 2. JON- Ghosts of the past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon meets more of his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay, as i said before i am new to writing. If i make any mistakes let me know in the comments. Hopefully i corrected some of the mistakes i made in the previous chapter. 

2\. JON 

_He could hear some whispers, but it was too dark and too far for him to make it out what being said. He continued to walk in the dark, finally Jon stopped and he just stood there in darkness for a few heartbeats and then he heard a soft voice,almost a whisper._

Jon jerked upright, his heart hammering in his chest. He looked around and for a few heartbeats he could not understand where he was, _In the godswood, you fool._ Now Jon knew it in his heart that this was no dream, _Have i truly been given a second chance at my life?_ He got up to his feet, he realized he was starving. After splashing some warm water onto his face from the hot springs. He picked up his cloak and started to make his way back to the kitchens and then back to the keep. _If the gods have given me another chance then I have to... no, i will protect my family and the north._

Jon tried to remember the dream he had but he couldn't. So his thoughts went back to his previous life and the reports he had received at castle black. First it was his father, accused of treason and then beheaded. Then came the iron born invasion and the sacking of Winterfell along with the deaths of Bran and Rickon; and then Robb murdered... at a wedding of all places... _Betrayed, just like me._ he thought bitterly. _What family we were_.. Old,powerful,feared,respected,hounorable.. _What fools we were_.. From what he heard at castle black was, House Stark was named rebels, traitors and almost extinct. which resulted in North being exposed to Chaos, devastation and _Bolton supremacy_.. that thought set his blood boiling. 

As he passed the armoury, He stopped walking and looked around Winterfell for a moment, people were going about their business, a sight he never thought he would he see again. _No_ , Jon thought _I swear it by the old gods and the new, i will bring the entirety of Westeros to their knees, if that is what it will take to protect my family and Winterfell..._

In the courtyard, he saw guards training, servants walking about and carrying out various chores. No one gave him any particular notice so he was about to turn away, That was when he saw two little figures came running out, one chasing another. Jon's breath froze in his chest, his heart thundering, eyed wide with unshed tears. Then he found himself smiling at the sight in front of him, his whole heart filled with such relief and happiness that he never knew he was capable of. 

"Stop running, stupid" Jon heard little Arya shout. Both of them were Just as he remembered them, just a little smaller. Arya with messy, dark brown hair and skinny as ever. She was wearing and Bran with wavy red auburn hair, he was wearing brown tunic and breeches which came until his knees. _Bran_ , Jon thought _he is running._ He saw Bran laughing and giggling and narrowly dodge a maid carrying a basket of clothes. "Bran!!" Arya called after her brother again as they disappeared around the corner. Jon smiled and he thanked the gods that Arya and Bran didn't see him standing there like a witless fool. He was in no condition to face them. 

As he started to make his way across the courtyard, his ears filled with cursing, grunting and clashing of swords and shields. He almost made it past the library tower, when he heard sounds of chains clanking, Jon paused and tilted his head upwards and he saw Maester Luwin descending the stairs and smiling towards him. He was wearing heavy grey robes and linked chains across his neck, which was made of various metals. 

"Jon, you missed your lessons today." measter Luwin said, as he reached the bottom of the staircase.

Jon remembered, him and Robb taking lessons together with measter luwin from another life. He smiled at the old maester with old memories flooding his mind. " I... was not feeling well maester luwin."Jon said. He was not planning to talk with anyone until he we was sure about himself. 

Old measter just nodded at him knowingly. "Is that why you were sleeping in the Godswood this morning Jon?" he asked.

Jon was sure no one took notice of him going into the Godswood early morning. When the measter realised Jon wasn't going to answer his question, he smiled at him assuringly. "It is quiet alright , Lord stark said you were resting and not to wake you, but, he said he wanted to talk to you." 

_Father...? of course,Father came to the Godswood._ Jon thought. 

Measter Luwin still smiling, Patted Jon's Shoulder and said "Now run along lad."

"Aye, measter Luwin" Jon said smiling slightly at the kind,old man. He wanted to do nothing but to grab some food and go back to godswood to think and make plans for the future. But if his father summoned him, he had to go see his father.He simply wasn't sure he could face the man is all. _I have dealt and faced wights,free folk, Stannis and his sneering knights and pompous lords,_ he thought _i think can face my family_. Jon told himself. He asked some guards about the whereabouts of Lord Stark and found out that all of his family are having mid-day meal.

When he came upon the room where they were all seated around the table smiling and conversing. He froze in his place, he did not react outwardly but he was stunned,happy,warm all at the same time. His father was sitting at the head of the table, Lady Catelyn was sitting next to him trying to get some food into Arya and Bran. 

When his eyes fell upon Sansa and lady Stark he felt sadness washover him. One being held hostage and married to a lannister and Lady Catelyn.. despite her cold demeanor he had to endure from her, he would never wish the fate that fell upon her and then he remembered the last thing she had told him before he left for Castle Black _'It should've been you.'_

It doesn't matter now, they were all his family and he would make sure they are all safe and hale. _Well, except one._ When he noticed Theon Greyjoy talking with Robb with the ever present mockish grin he had upon his face -- The face he wished he could turn it into nothing but a red pulp-- Jon felt rage and fury fill his entire body. _Father should've taken this traitorous,treacherous piece of shit' head and be done with it ._

He was still looking at the Greyjoy, When he heard his father's voice "Jon," it was the same voice that promised Jon to talk about his mother when he last heard it. "something's happened ?" When Jon shook his head, his father just motioned his hand to take a seat. 

Jon saw Arya and Bran smiling and ready to jump out of their chairs and run over to him but they were kept in place by their lady mother's stern stare. Jon smiled to his little brother and sister and walked over and took the only cursed seat that was available which was next to the Greyjoy cunt. He didn't even bother to greet him with neither nod nor did he spare him a look. Thankfully the turncloak didn't say anything either, because Jon wasn't sure he could control himself at the moment. 

He started to have his food which was brought to him by the servants. Only then he remembered that he was starving earlier, so started devouring the roasted bacon, fresh bread with a gravy made of beef and onions. Jon missed such tasty and fresh food, he realised . He was looking around the table for watered wine or ale to wash it down and that's when his eyes settled upon the pitcher which was placed somewhere between where Lord and lady stark were seated.

"Robb," Jon said and his brother looked towards him questioningly, Jon nodded his head towards the pitcher and waved his left hand to pass it to him. Robb did not move an inch, just looked towards the wine and back at him. 

"What?" Robb asked again.

By now Jon's throat really needed something to wash it down, so he was growing really impatient with his brother, "well, could you pass the wine?" he motioned his hand again at the pitcher, but only now he realized the entire table was watching him with different emotions on their. Lord Stark was looking at him surprised and disappointed at the same time, Lady Stark looked surprised but there was slight anger too. Bran and Arya was looking between their parents and Jon expectantly, Robb just looked at him shocked as if Jon just said the most inappropriate thing in public.

"Lad, you are not having wine," Lord stark said sternly mixed with slight incredulousness in his voice. "At the very least not in my presence" He added looking at Jon over his cup. Jon could clearly see that his father was trying to hide a smile. 

Only then Jon realized that he is nothing but a twelve namedays greenboy, and neither he was a man grown of one and six nor the Lord Commander of the Nights watch. He cursed himself inwardly, and looked apologetically at his father and murmured some apologies and hurried through his meal with water. 

When Jon finished his meal, he got up and tried to excuse himself. But with him Ned Stark stood as well "Jon, wait," His father said as he kissed his Lady wife in the cheek and excused himself from the table. "come with me" he said to Jon. They were making their way across the keep, Servants, maids and guards alike either bowed or stood in attention to Lord stark as they walked past them. His father stopped at a spot where it overlooked the entire courtyard.

Lord stark looked at jon for a few heartbeats. "Are you feeling well Jon?" Lord Stark asked worried "I saw you sleeping alone in the godswood against heart tree this morn." Ned placed a hand on his shoulder. "Is there anything that's bothering you?"

When he thought about it, For a long time Jon had to go through his life all by himself. By the end of his previous life at Castle Black, he had sent all of the people who actually had an inkling cared about him away and had died all alone in that cold place with no friends next to him to defend or to care about him. So when heard his fathers question, He almost felt like a weight that had been placed upon his head for a long time had been lifted. 

"I am feeling better father," Jon answered assuring his father "It's just i had queer dream last night. nothing more." 

His father looked at him and gave him a single nod. "can I expect you to resume your daily duties from tomorrow ?" Ned asked. Upon receiving Jon's confirmatory nod, his father smiled at him and walked away.

As Jon was making his way back to his room, he realised, now his duties aren't just taking lessons from Measter Luwin and sparring in the yard under ser Rodrick's guidance. He needed to protect his family and prepare for the future at the same. When he thought about all of the disgruntled lords and stewards he had to deal with at Castle Black, it seemed nothing compared to what he will have to do in this life. He almost wished he had his old life back... 

_Almost, but no..._   
  
  
  
  


  


  



	3. Chapter 3

**JON**  
  
It had been almost a moon since he came back, and Jon went through different kinds of ways in his mind about what he would do in this life. He thought about what happened in his previous life many times these past few weeks and about where it all started to go bad. It all came down to two moments: the death of Jon Arryn and his father’s appointment to Hand of the King. If Jon Arryn did not die, the king would have no need to come to the North for his father.  
  
What he also realized -- _no, what I almost forgot--_ is that his journey to the Wall and Beyond was also really important. Unlike the last time, Jon now knew about the threats that are hanging not only over his head but the heads of his family too. There were threats looming from the North, South, and possibly from the Iron born too. Jon almost felt like he was being suffocated with so little time he had in his hands.  
  
If he tried to warn his Lord Father or anyone with any kind of influence and power in their hands about wights or White Walkers now, they would laugh in his face and most probably mock him for losing his wits. Yet, The Wall needed to be manned and supplied. He had to somehow find a way to at least make sure Night’s Watch is well supplied if he could not do anything else.  
  
If he could at least make sure The Night's Watch was well-provisioned, that would buy him some time. So that he could turn his attention to the South and try to prevent anything disastrous happening to his family.  
  
_We need The North and all its strength IN THE NORTH._ Jon thought to himself resolutely.  
  
That was why he found himself in the Library under Maester Luwin's supervision. Jon was going through Winterfell's old ledger books to find some spare resources or even coin, which could be redirected to the Night's Watch. Of course, he was no fool and he knew that it would take some convincing in order for that to happen.  
  
He had been at this for days, whenever he got any free time, he came to Winterfell's library and tried to find something. But he could find very little that could be spared, everything was so well balanced.  
  
Jon knew House Stark had no problems with coins in the past and the North as a whole was a stable and well-run Kingdom. But what did surprise Jon was how rich Winterfell's treasury truly was. He simply could not believe the numbers that were in front of him. Decades..no, Centuries of accumulated wealth, combined with no lavish expenses such as tourneys and feasting like how Southerners do and throw their coins away.  
  
Surely Robert's and the Greyjoy's Rebellions must've drained some of it at least and there were small amounts of loans taken out. But still, If Jon's calculations were correct, House Stark's coffers must be full to the brim and could probably pay it off in a single payment and be done with it. Truthfully, these accounts were _old_. But that alone would not solve anything. Jon simply can't walk up to Lord Stark and ask him to fund the Night's Watch.  
  
_The Free Folk needed to be brought south of the Wall as well,_ Jon thought, as he found himself rubbing his forehead with one hand while flipping through the pages with the other. He was not even sure if Mance Rayder had united all of the clans of the Free Folk under his banner as King-beyond the Wall at this point in time. He even thought about the Iron Bank and that queer man Tycho Nestoris. But no, the situation right now was not as bad as when he was the Lord Commander.  
  
Jon's thoughts again went back to when he was murdered in his previous life. _I tried to save those bastards, I did everything I could, and they killed me._ But in his heart, Jon knew they killed him for being an oath-breaker and for trying to desert his post as Lord Commander.  
  
When Jon heard footsteps, he did not bother to look up, still thoughts raging inside him. "What is it?" he asked in an irritated voice.  
  
But when he did not receive a reply, he looked up to find Maester Luwin walking to where Jon was sitting, he looked around and realized it was almost dark outside. He had been in the library for hours now. Jon wanted to do all of this without being too blatant and without raising any suspicions. He was clearly failing miserably at that, considering the look the old Maester was giving Jon now. _How more useless can I be?_  
  
"Maester Luwin," Jon said smiling, but his voice was dry and it cracked a little without speaking to anyone for hours. Jon cleared his throat and he was about to speak again but the Maester spoke first, taking his seat on the bench opposite to where Jon was sitting.  
  
"Am I interrupting Jon?" Maester Luwin asked.  
  
"No. Not at all," Jon said.  
  
"Have you finished the work that I gave you?"  
  
Jon did complete it, in fact, he did it hours earlier. It was not anything he had not done at Castle Black before while he was the Lord Commander. But it was quite extensive because you cannot compare the size difference between the accounts of The North and Winterfell and the Night's Watch. Despite the larger size, he did it with no problem.  
  
"Yes, Maester Luwin," Jon said, handing over the papers.  
  
The elderly Maester looked over Jon's work and nodded along. He looked between Jon and the papers a few times before setting aside the papers.

"Jon, this is quite good work you've done," He paused still looking at Jon in a queer manner, "but I don't remember teaching, neither you nor Robb, numbers this complicated or advanced?"  
  
Jon was confused, as he looked at Maester Luwin for a few heartbeats, and then he realized how blind he truly was these past few days. Jon cursed himself for walking right into a trap because that is exactly what this is. The old man had caught Jon like a rabbit caught in a snare. _Ghost would've warned me_ Jon thought to himself sadly.  
  
Jon was so invested in finding a way to solve the problems at the Wall that he actually did not even notice that the old man had noticed Jon's odd requests and behavior and he was testing Jon for the past few days. The work he did today was the bait and Jon took it without even giving it a thought. Because a twelve-year-old boy had no right to do some of the numbers Jon did in the last few days.  
  
Jon knew he was caught and he could not think of a way out from this situation he had found himself in. It was a pit that he helped the old man dig and then willingly dived into it headfirst. Whatever he said would be of little meaning, but he tried anyway.  
  
"I Don't know Maester Luwin," Jon said, trying not to show any emotions on his face, "for some reasons, I have developed a great love for numbers in these past few days" Jon finished with a sincere look on his face, hoping this would placate the old man's suspicions.   
  
Not surprisingly, old Maester shook his head, clearly disappointed in Jon. "Stop lying to me boy, Some of the work I gave you this week are not just some Steward's duties but of Bannermen Lords duties and today's work...," Maester looked at him and chuckled slightly "well let’s just say you would have no problem in succeeding Lord stark, as Warden of the North. At least when it comes to just numbers and paperwork.”  
  
To say Jon was shocked from what he just heard would be an understatement. He was already tired and irritated, but now he was fuming. Jon had no intentions and never thought of usurping Robb or any of his siblings while they are still alive. Even Rickon who is not even born yet.  
  
Jon straightened his back and looked straight into the old Maester's eyes. "Whatever you think I am doing, Maester Luwin, I am not plotting to usurp my siblings' birthright. I know my place,” Jon said with as much as coldness and conviction his boyish voice would allow him to.   
  
Maester Luwin stared at him for a few moments and then he gave out a small laugh and nodded. "Good to know that Jon. I never said that you were plotting treason but it's good to know anyway," he said, before continuing. "You know, Lord Stark has asked me to give you the same lessons that Robb would receive, but these..." he picked up the paperwork Jon did today and waved it in the air "are still a long way to go, lad. Mayhaps I am old, but not that old to forget what I teach."  
  
At that moment Jon did feel like a boy. _Stupid and green,_ he thought. But he cannot just confess everything at the very moment, it was too much. Somehow, Jon now knew his father was aware of his 'Love for numbers' as well. After this, Jon was sure he was to meet up with Lord Stark and explain his newly profound 'Love for numbers'.  
  
There was no way someone could just walk into Winterfell and go through Financial Records of The North. He was clearly _allowed_ to go through the old ledger books. Whether this is all his Father's or the Old Maester's work, Jon did not know.  
  
Jon was angry with himself for allowing others to manipulate him. _I Lost my life last time for being a half-witted fool._  
  
Jon stood up from the bench he was sitting on. "If that is all, Maester Luwin," Jon said, trying to avoid any further questions for which he had no answers at that moment. Only then, he realised it sounded like he was dismissing the old man from his imaginary solar. Jon cursed himself again and added "My apologies Maester, I have not eaten since mid-day, I am quite hungry," Jon said, his voice softening a little.  
  
Maester Luwin stood up as well. Instead of looking angry or irritated with his student's behavior, he looked rather amused. "It is quite alright Jon, but still I would like an explanation on the morrow."  
  
Jon nodded, "Aye, Maester Luwin."  
  
"Now go have your supper," the Maester smiled and reached across to ruffle Jon's hair. He was once again reminded that he was a man in a boy's clothes and body.   
  
As Jon descended the stairs of the Library Tower, he thought about what he found in the ledger books and how to approach this matter with his father and convince Lord Stark to give a much bigger helping hand to the Night's Watch than what they were already giving. Also possibly establishing a trade deal between the South and the North as a whole to be better prepared for what is coming. _Well, you know what exactly is coming. Winter._ That thought made Jon feel like, someone pushed him out naked, into a proper winter storm.  
  
Jon had not been idle these past few weeks. He trained with Ser Rodrik and took lessons --which he already knew-- with Maester Luwin but Jon had to do some research and planning before he started taking actions. He really gave a serious thought about telling Robb or his father about what is happening to him but for some reason, he just could not. Not now at least.  
  
Jon was brought out of his thoughtful walk when he felt a tug on his hip. When he looked down, he saw a pair of wet little gray eyes staring up at him.  
  
Jon never got bored nor did he take anything for granted after what happened in his last dreadful life, so whenever he saw his family members since he came back, he thought it was a blessing that the Old Gods themselves had given him.  
  
With that thought in mind, he pushed aside all the troubling thoughts away. Jon smiled and ruffled his little sister's hair which was already a bit messy but now the work was complete.  
  
"Hello, you little rat," Jon said playfully.  
  
Arya frowned a little bit more. "Not you too Jon, Jeyne called me Horseface again," She said pointing in the direction of where the kitchen was, as Jon saw Sansa and Jeyne Poole coming out smiling and whispering to one another, with plates of something. "Now you are calling me a rat as well." Arya added with genuine hurt on her face.  
  
Jon laughed a little -- which still felt queer to him, he hadn't laughed like this for quite some time before all this happened-- and tickled his little sister's neck, "I was only jesting, you little rat" which made the little girl squirm and giggle.  
  
Jon looked around and found an old discarded cart on the way back to the Great Keep, his mind immediately planned an ambush to make his little sister feel better. Jon knelt down and patted his shoulders. "Climb up little sister," Jon said.  
  
Arya's face immediately brightened up and hopped on her brother's shoulders. Jon had a tight grip on both of her little legs in his hands to make sure she did not fall backwards when he ran.  
  
Jon for a moment could not get back onto his feet. Again reality slapped him hard on his face again for the thousandth time since he came back, as he once again realized he was just a boy. But with much effort, Jon finally got back on to his feet and vowed to himself that he would train harder.  
  
Arya on his shoulders, Jon quickly ran to the old cart and hid behind it. "Jon, run a little bit more," Arya said, slightly jumping on his shoulders.  
  
"Shhh," Jon calmed his sister. "Arya," Jon whispered. "When they both come near us, shout Sansa's name as loud as you could. Understand?" Jon asked looking over his shoulder. Arya, with wide eyes, nodded her head eagerly at him.  
  
He smiled and looked back to where Sansa and Jeyne were. They were almost near the old cart, so Jon waited for a few more heartbeats before moving out of their hiding spot and both yelled Sansa's name.  
  
Sansa and Jeyne Poole both cried out in surprise, but poor Jeyne who was carrying the plate threw it up in the air, with its contents flying all over the place. A few of them landed on Sansa's head and Jeyne's face. _Lemon cakes,_ Jon realized.  
  
Jon and Arya burst out laughing at their reaction, with Arya struggling to stay on Jon's shoulders.  
  
"Jon! Arya!" Sansa shouted, looking very angry but it was a hilarious sight. Bits of cake slowly dripped onto her face. Sansa, forgetting all ladylike manners, was about to move to catch them but Jon was quick.  
  
Still holding onto little Arya's legs -- who was still giggling uncontrollably on his shoulders-- Jon side stepped Sansa's pitiful charge, which made her stumble but did not fall. When she turned back, Jon was right behind Sansa still laughing, he let go of Arya's legs for a moment and pinched Sansa's nose hard.  
  
"Owww!" Sansa cried out again.  
  
Jon was about to run away when he heard Sansa say "You can't touch me," Jon froze in his place and turned around. He knelt down to place little Arya on the ground and then he stood up.  
  
"And why is that sister"? Jon asked Sansa knowing exactly what her answer was going to be.  
  
"Half-sister," Sansa corrected him, "and mother said you are a bastard, so you can't touch me," Sansa added more innocently, and Jon saw Jeyne nodding her head at that.  
  
Jon stopped caring if people called him a bastard a long time ago. Even still, it did hurt now, because Sansa is also his little sister and family. When people you deeply care for hurt you, it will hurt, no matter how many times they did it.  
  
But for Jon, he would suffer any insults as long as all of his family is safe and healthy. Also, it made him so happy every time he saw his brothers and sisters, so at the end of the day, all these petty things should not matter.  
  
So Jon smiled at his sister and said " My apologies, Lady Sansa" Jon bowed slightly.  
  
"He is our brother stupid, and we were just playing with you," little Arya shouted at Sansa angrily, which made Jon smile again.  
  
"We shouldn't be playing with him too," Sansa said looking at her feet.  
  
Jon simply placed a hand on Arya's shoulder to calm her down and kissed the top of her head. Jon was about to walk off but then he realized several servants and Household guards had stopped what they were doing and they were watching this whole commotion.  
  
"What are you lot looking at?" Jon said, raising his voice, "this is not a mummer's show. Get on with it!!"

Immediately, everyone who was standing still quickly went back to what they were doing. Jon gave another smile to Sansa and Jeyne --who were staring at him with wide eyes for some reason-- and walked away.  
  
  
  
  
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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading that chapter. i know its not much but next chapter will be out sooner than this. Sorry for the delay again, Also a big shout out to Evan Leake, Who beta read this chapter. :) Leave your thoughts in the comments :)


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